Know Your Worth – A Boudoir Photographer’s Journey to Self Acceptance

Filed in Audaciously Feminine Boudoir  /  December 28, 2016 /

Can you believe that 2017 is just days away?! I feel like 2016 was such a whirlwind in my personal life and in our Boudoir Studio. We were busier than I could ever imagine and while I might have felt like I was grasping at straws at times, it made me grow and learn new ways of getting “shit done.” It also brought a lot of falling flat on my face, but hell, we can’t grow without stumbling right?

In my last post, which you can find here, I talked a lot about my constant issue with apologizing, FOR EVERYTHING. I had to really internalize why that is, and quite frankly it comes down to the view of my worth, my self-value, and my constant need to determine that value based on what other’s perceptions of me are. If that sounds familiar, you might want to read on.

As 2017 approaches, most of us start to feel a bit of panic/determination. It comes with thoughts of “Shit! I didn’t accomplish this” and “Dammit, this is my year and xyz is really going to happen this time.” I begin creating my vision boards, evaluating what I did not accomplish, and determining what I will accomplish this year as a business owner and in my personal life.

To be honest, my goals often revolve around business, my kids, and my relationship with my husband. Rarely do I make goals that revolve around myself directly. Quite honestly, I feel selfish thinking about myself. I mean, to the extent that I don’t purchase myself a new pair of shoes when I frankly need them. I have taken the role of Mother, Wife, Teacher, and Business Owner on to such an extent, the “me” just doesn’t exist anymore. All of the roles take complete priority in my energy and financially. If your head is nodding yes with me as you read this. Stop it. Wait. Keep nodding your head in agreement, but stop losing yourself completely.

This year 2017 is being turned on its head. Instead of just creating dream boards, lists, and goals, I am using this book to stop planning without purpose, and instead accomplish my dreams in a way that makes me feel good. Me, my, and myself, is moving to the top of the list. Now, there are things I LOVE. I hold back from indulging in them because I feel financially guilty for doing so (remember I don’t even buy shoes for myself when I need them).

When you are constantly giving to others, you eventually just run out and there is nothing to give. So I am giving myself freedom to give to myself WITHOUT guilt. That shit is hard to do! Guilt is a jerk that quite honestly steals your happiness. Through self-reflection I have realized that I can’t be the best of me in all those roles without actually giving back to me (massages included).

So how do I get around the guilt of spending on me? I do it wisely. I might have done a little math and realized that the $5 I spend a day on a latte adds up to a lot of money each month, and while I don’t want to discontinue them completely, I could probably minimize them to once a week, and put the rest toward the things I really want to do for myself to feel recharged this 2017. I challenge you to participate in the exercise below. I have listed my process here as an example. Plus you totally get to see my personal goals for this year:

  1. Travel to my favorite Boudoir Photographer at the end 2017 to experience my own boudoir shoot.
  2. Workout 3 days a week- this releases the good stuff so I feel better mentally and physically- be gone depression.
  3. Read one book a month with my favorite cup of tea in hand.
  4. Once a month, purchase an apparel item or a spa service, and do it without guilt- I work my butt off and deserve it- keep saying this mantra over and over!

So how will I accomplish these goals? First, by establishing that I am worth more than the $$ I spend on my daily latte purchase. Second, scheduling my time.

How will I put them in motion? I am scheduling my boudoir shoot ASAP! This makes me accountable, and it tells the universe that this year I am putting value in myself. The more I put those actions out to the universe, the more it will come back to me. Also, creating my boudoir vision board. Third, (already did this one) purchasing a detailed planner and scheduling all of my time out- and I mean all of it. Finally, I created a budget, yes a budget, just for me. Again, this means I am not having a daily latte because I know that the value I will gain from a boudoir experience and the process I will go through to get to that shoot will bring me much more satisfaction and self-worth than my daily latte.

Now it’s your turn! Drop the guilt! Determine goals and a vision for yourself that increase your self worth and make you feel empowered! If you are ready to take the Boudoir Experience challenge with me, we encourage you to book your shoot today! We have created an amazing offer for our clients that accept and book before January 1st (it also locks in our 2016 pricing before it increases January 1st). We have made the budgeting piece easy peasy! Choose your product and let our monthly automated billing system do the rest so you have nothing to worry about the day of your shoot- your investment into yourself has already been made and you can just focus on you!

Click the “Contact Link” to get started! I can’t wait to begin this “Me” journey with you this 2017!

You Are Worth More Than You Think


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Kalu Ndukwe Kalu

The things you do for yourself are gone when you are gone, but the things you do for others remain as your legacy.