There are two little words…well one is a contraction, but that’s a grammar lesson for another day, that women say all the time. We rarely notice their frequency or the long term consequences of how often they are said, but they are so impactful. I have to digress for just a moment and tell you a little story that will bring us full circle, so bear with me for just a moment. Last week I went to Fudruckers to purchase dinner for my family. I had a client coming to the house to pick up her products and I was in quite the rush…I used these words at least 7 times in my two minute interaction with young, high school-aged cashier. She replied it’s fine so many times I think she became annoyed. I noticed this and wondered why I used those two little words so many times in such a short amount of time. The following morning, I headed to Starbucks for my favorite Bacon Gouda Breakfast Sandwich and Grande Flat White Latte. As I approached the the drive-thru window, I struggled to get out my handy dandy app to complete my purchase. This AMAZING woman opened the window with a cheerful good morning, and I did it again. I said,”I’m sorry I just have to load more money quick.” This wonderful woman looked and me and said, “Don’t be sorry! I think as women we say sorry way to often. We just need to let it all hang out and quit apologizing for everything!” She said this with such conviction and wonderful enthusiasm that I just laughed, agreed, and pulled away to begin my day. Her words have stayed with me. I thought a lot about why I, as a female, find myself using those little words so very frequently. I believe my wonderful message carrier at Starbucks was so right…we need to stop saying “I’m Sorry.” An apology is an ownership of a mistake, a wrong that you are trying to right. Why do we take so much ownership in mistakes? Are they truly all ours to own? Or is it because we don’t feel good enough to truly feel ok with the decisions we are making and need someone to say “it’s okay.” I think it is possibly all of those things. Think about it for just a moment. Do you hear men apologizing 2,3, or more times in a conversation? In all honesty, I don’t think I have ever heard it occurring more than once to a cashier, for example. I am very vocally a feminist; always demanding equality, equal pay, and equal respect, and yet, I don’t value myself enough to demonstrate what I so request the opposite sex provide to me.
And the AHA! Moment occurs. It comes down to self-value and self-acceptance. It’s hard shit to do! Just because I encourage you to love yourself on a constant basis doesn’t mean I don’t struggle with it myself (we totally keep it real around here if you haven’t noticed yet). We as women are a constant work in progress. So why the ramble? Because this is quite honestly a bit cathartic for me…having an English degree means writing is your springboard…for everything, and secondly because I want to challenge you to challenge yourself. Take a moment to think about how often you apologize each day, what drives your apologies, what do you need to change to quit feeling what drives your apologies. I challenge you to do the following with me:
- Minimize your apologies- is it worth ownership or guilt?
- Assess yourself self-value. Where are you on a scale of 1-10?
- Switch gears. Give yourself one positive affirmation each day.
- Identify with YOU- not mommy, wife, sister, daughter- just YOU.
- As 2017 approaches- dream big. Write down a goal/dream that your heart desires for just you. Keep it in a place you can see it every day and put it out to the universe. Fulfill your desires.
- Be a BOSS. Own your desires, dreams, and decisions like a boss- no apologies.
- Finally, support the females around you to achieve these steps. Giving is receiving! Find value in your gifts!
Guess what?! We are all in this boat at times, and sometimes it quite frankly sucks! The more we can acknowledge that we all have a common thread and help each other be the kick ass bosses we are, the more we can live fulfilled as equal females. Here’s to kicking ass as #ladybosses! We love you ladies and we want to help you support you in this amazing journey! Join us on instagram, our handle is: tarareinersboudoir, where we will be pushing those positive affirmations each day! Get your self-love out to the universe and see what it changes for you. We want to hear about it!!! As you follow the steps, let us know in the comments!